Expecting

Right after Thanksgiving, we found out that we were pregnant with #4! Ryan and I kept it a secret though, we didn't even tell the kids until Christmas. It was fun having it just our secret. I'm lucky that I don't get sick because it made it that much easier to hide. The timing was interesting though. I was called as RS President back in April and Ryan and I had been going back and forth on our family plans for a while. Gwen had turned two and usually we'd already be pregnant by then. But at the time, I just wasn't ready. I was busy getting into the swing of my calling and we were just busy with life and I just didn't feel comfortable having another. I tried to convince myself that we were done having kids but that didn't feel right either. So we waited. Didn't take long though. During October conference I got this really strong impression that it was time. It was like a light switch and I don't think I've ever received inspiration so strongly and clearly before. I don't even remember who was speaking and he wasn't talking about families or anything but I think I was just finally really listening to the Spirit and that's what he told me. I told Ryan the next day and he was said that he had been thinking the same thing. Once we had made the official decision to have another baby, I got really anxious to get pregnant. I just needed to get pregnant right away but I had this weird feeling like something bad was going to happen. I felt like something was going to happen to one of my kids. I thought it might be hard for us to get pregnant this time around, I thought there might be something wrong with the baby, and I thought that something might happen to Carson, Reese, or Gwen. I knew that we needed to get pregnant but I felt uneasy. Not too long after, Tyce was diagnosed. I'm still a little anxious about the baby and delivery and everything but I think Tyce was the reason I was feeling uneasy because we had no problem getting pregnant and so far, everything is good.

We told our families over Christmas and I didn't go in for my first appointment until after the New Year. Usually that first appointment is fun because it makes it that much more real and, in the past, I've had an ultrasound to determine my exact due date. Well this one was as fun as my other first appointments. First off, I had to sit, naked, in the room for an hour waiting for the nurse to come. Then she told me that I had a bump on my thyroid that may or may not be cancerous and that I needed to get an ultrasound and biopsy to determine. Then she said that I was measuring larger which would mean either I'm farther along then what my dates suggest, I have fibroids, or there's twins. And I didn't get to see the baby. So overall, not what I had expected.

I went to the ENT and $800 later, we found out my thyroid nodal is not cancerous but that I needed to come back every 6 months so make sure it's not growing. Just knowing my family history, I didn't really think it was going to be cancerous and I consider myself lucky that I haven't had to deal with thyroid issues until now but there's still always that little bit of you that thinks "what if."

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had a dream that I had two twin girls and named them Clare and Remy. I told Ryan about my dream and when the nurse said that I was measuring large and that twins was a possibility, Ryan and I both were thinking that was it.  We actually got really excited and stressed about the idea of having twins. I told Ryan though that there was no real explanation for us having twins, it would be a total random thing. But crazier things have happened. We went in for an ultrasound and found out that there's just one, no fibroids, but I was about two weeks farther along then what my period date would suggest. Luckily, the least stressful of the three scenarios.

But as I said, so far, so good!! We're excited to add another one to our crew!! The kids have been super cute about it! They're all really excited and it's fun to see them excited. It just makes it that much more enjoyable when their little faces light up when they feel or see the baby kick and move. It's awesome.